Well, it's nearing the end of November, so rather than try to cram more profound posts into the rest of Season 2, I'll save them for Season 3. Basically the theme for Season 3 will be the path to teacher certification. Though, my blog season will be staggered with the teaching certification program. The path to teacher certification would really take up a good chunk of Season 4. But I doubt I'll have time to keep up my blog then. So, Season 3 will be the path leading up to the start of the program at least.
Right then. We'll see how this goes. Here's the link to Season 3: http://killdeerchronicles3.blogspot.com
And there's the Season Archives in the sidebar.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Motivation from what we want vs. what we don’t want
In the earlier version of Season 2, I’d written a post called “The life we choose?” In that post, I discussed the ideas behind not just the decisions we make, but why we make the decisions we do.
I’ve thought about this more and more over the last few months regarding what really motivates people to do what they do in life…or rather, what motivates their decisions. And I find there is a common trend which is that a lot of people tend to make decisions based on what they don’t want instead of what they want.
Two examples I can think of. People believe in God not because they want to live forever, but because they don’t want to die and/or go to Hell. Nobody gives much thought to what it really is to live forever…just so long as they don’t die.
The other example is marriage (or any committed long-term relationship). Here especially, people don’t hold out for what they want, nor do they really go after what they want when they find it…likely because they’ll always be looking for someone better. So the motivation isn’t, “I want to find (or be with) someone who I’ll be happy with,” it’s, “I don’t want to be alone.”
Another way of putting it is that people will usually take what they need instead of holding out for what they want. And I’m finding it hard to fit in with this kind of thinking because I always think it’s better to make decisions based on what I want. There’s nothing very satisfying about simply getting what I need.
But then there’s the problem of options in our lives. And here I think back to the realizations from playing poker. We don’t all hold the same cards, so we don’t all have the same options. (And even if we did, we still wouldn’t all make the same decisions with those cards.)
I recently watched a movie called “Blow”, about the true story of the rise and fall of George Jung, who basically made the American cocaine market in the 1970s.
The most poignant part of the movie was this conversation between George and his dad. It went something to the effect of:
“I’m not angry with you. I just don’t understand the decisions you’re making.”
“Dad, I’m really good at what I do.”
“Son, you could have been good at anything you wanted.”
I considered that last comment. But looking at George’s life, looking at my own life, looking at the lives of others…their experiences, their personality traits….the reality is, we may have the potential to do anything we want, but we can only really make decisions based on the options before us (as influenced by the experiences we’ve had and options we've taken in the past that have brought us to the views we hold today…views that others in the same set of circumstances, may or may not have come to).
We can’t make decisions based on options that simply aren’t there.
Considering my personality traits, my past, the events that have brought me to where I am now, the viewpoint that has developed, and where I seem to be able to go from here, I’m feeling more like I am on a set path in spite of my efforts to stay off a conveyer belt. And I’m wondering if there is anything I can do to change my options. But I don’t know. Perhaps if I can accept the life I seem to have, I can be happy with it.
I have a few more posts on the backburner. Not sure if they’ll be posted on this season or on Season 3.
I’ve thought about this more and more over the last few months regarding what really motivates people to do what they do in life…or rather, what motivates their decisions. And I find there is a common trend which is that a lot of people tend to make decisions based on what they don’t want instead of what they want.
Two examples I can think of. People believe in God not because they want to live forever, but because they don’t want to die and/or go to Hell. Nobody gives much thought to what it really is to live forever…just so long as they don’t die.
The other example is marriage (or any committed long-term relationship). Here especially, people don’t hold out for what they want, nor do they really go after what they want when they find it…likely because they’ll always be looking for someone better. So the motivation isn’t, “I want to find (or be with) someone who I’ll be happy with,” it’s, “I don’t want to be alone.”
Another way of putting it is that people will usually take what they need instead of holding out for what they want. And I’m finding it hard to fit in with this kind of thinking because I always think it’s better to make decisions based on what I want. There’s nothing very satisfying about simply getting what I need.
But then there’s the problem of options in our lives. And here I think back to the realizations from playing poker. We don’t all hold the same cards, so we don’t all have the same options. (And even if we did, we still wouldn’t all make the same decisions with those cards.)
I recently watched a movie called “Blow”, about the true story of the rise and fall of George Jung, who basically made the American cocaine market in the 1970s.
The most poignant part of the movie was this conversation between George and his dad. It went something to the effect of:
“I’m not angry with you. I just don’t understand the decisions you’re making.”
“Dad, I’m really good at what I do.”
“Son, you could have been good at anything you wanted.”
I considered that last comment. But looking at George’s life, looking at my own life, looking at the lives of others…their experiences, their personality traits….the reality is, we may have the potential to do anything we want, but we can only really make decisions based on the options before us (as influenced by the experiences we’ve had and options we've taken in the past that have brought us to the views we hold today…views that others in the same set of circumstances, may or may not have come to).
We can’t make decisions based on options that simply aren’t there.
Considering my personality traits, my past, the events that have brought me to where I am now, the viewpoint that has developed, and where I seem to be able to go from here, I’m feeling more like I am on a set path in spite of my efforts to stay off a conveyer belt. And I’m wondering if there is anything I can do to change my options. But I don’t know. Perhaps if I can accept the life I seem to have, I can be happy with it.
I have a few more posts on the backburner. Not sure if they’ll be posted on this season or on Season 3.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
The Lost Posts
Ok, I compiled notable posts from Seasons 1 and 2 and put them on a separate blog called The Lost Posts. Click on the link below or look under "Season Archives" in the right hand column.
http://killdeerlostposts.blogspot.com
http://killdeerlostposts.blogspot.com
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Regret revisited and looking to the future
If you read…hmm…what was it? Season 1 or 2? Anyway, I wrote a short post showing an article called The Psychology of Regret.
Basically, it said…well two things, really. First it said that how you look back on your decisions changes from the immediate past to the more distant past. The second thing it said is that there are two types of people; the kind that regret the things they did and the kind that regret what they didn’t do.
Well, looking at this now, I’m not sure any of this matters because it doesn’t take into account (what was then) the present. Whether you regret what you did or didn’t do, you made the best decision at the time based on the information you had and what was important to you at the time. What becomes important to you later is pretty much irrelevant for a past decision. So there’s really no point regretting anything…what you did or didn’t do.
That’s basically the way I’d thought for a long time. And I still feel that way. When I look back on my experience living overseas, yeah, I missed out on some opportunities, but I also know I did what was important to me at the time. It was important to me to do what I wanted and to follow through with the plans I’d made.
If these things are not important to me anymore, then I’ll make my changes now.
Of course, here’s the thing. It’s one thing to change the course of your life, but quite another to change who you are.
Recently, in response to regret, I tried to change who I was. I even tried to… *gasp* …stop thinking. Well that was just dumb. And it’s expecting quite a bit from myself. But I think something that can be learned from that article on regret is to consider the trends of your decisions and consider whether you want to continue down the path you're on…or to change directions…while still in the context of being who you are. It’s a tricky balance.
Another tricky balance, making the right decisions for the right reasons. Well…it seems when you’re faced with a decision and you don’t feel you have the information to decide which is best, you can always go with your gut feeling. It’s trying to tell you something that you already know or believe, even if you can’t see it at the moment. And there’s a difference between feeling nervous about a decision vs. a feeling that something just isn’t right. Later down the line, you’ll understand more what that gut feeling was trying to tell you.
Making a decision (a choice) between an individual or an institution. That’s a difficult one. I find I’ve been happier when I chose the individual.
Anyway…ok I’m going on tangents. But that’s, um, what I do. So, like, ok…this “going with the flow” thing. I’ve been trying to not care so much what happens next and just do whatever…but um, I just can’t. Things don’t just come up for me. It may work for others, but for me, if I don’t decide which way I’m going to go, then I end up not going anywhere. I need to have a direction, to head towards something that I care about. I recognize the epiphanies I’ve had (like, that I need someone), but I still can’t stand to be aimless.
I’m getting a lot of advice about what I should do with my life, but ultimately, I know what works for me, and what they’re telling me is what works for them. Until I see others doing things the way I do…well. That’s not fair. I am considering the advice I’ve been given and staying open to possibilities should they present themselves.
In the meantime, I’m going to head towards what I set out to do, which is work in the international field, live in Seattle proper, and utilize the mass transit system. I’m making some compromises and some changes as I see fit based on what becomes important to me. But I’m still going to be me. So, yeah.
Basically, it said…well two things, really. First it said that how you look back on your decisions changes from the immediate past to the more distant past. The second thing it said is that there are two types of people; the kind that regret the things they did and the kind that regret what they didn’t do.
Well, looking at this now, I’m not sure any of this matters because it doesn’t take into account (what was then) the present. Whether you regret what you did or didn’t do, you made the best decision at the time based on the information you had and what was important to you at the time. What becomes important to you later is pretty much irrelevant for a past decision. So there’s really no point regretting anything…what you did or didn’t do.
That’s basically the way I’d thought for a long time. And I still feel that way. When I look back on my experience living overseas, yeah, I missed out on some opportunities, but I also know I did what was important to me at the time. It was important to me to do what I wanted and to follow through with the plans I’d made.
If these things are not important to me anymore, then I’ll make my changes now.
Of course, here’s the thing. It’s one thing to change the course of your life, but quite another to change who you are.
Recently, in response to regret, I tried to change who I was. I even tried to… *gasp* …stop thinking. Well that was just dumb. And it’s expecting quite a bit from myself. But I think something that can be learned from that article on regret is to consider the trends of your decisions and consider whether you want to continue down the path you're on…or to change directions…while still in the context of being who you are. It’s a tricky balance.
Another tricky balance, making the right decisions for the right reasons. Well…it seems when you’re faced with a decision and you don’t feel you have the information to decide which is best, you can always go with your gut feeling. It’s trying to tell you something that you already know or believe, even if you can’t see it at the moment. And there’s a difference between feeling nervous about a decision vs. a feeling that something just isn’t right. Later down the line, you’ll understand more what that gut feeling was trying to tell you.
Making a decision (a choice) between an individual or an institution. That’s a difficult one. I find I’ve been happier when I chose the individual.
Anyway…ok I’m going on tangents. But that’s, um, what I do. So, like, ok…this “going with the flow” thing. I’ve been trying to not care so much what happens next and just do whatever…but um, I just can’t. Things don’t just come up for me. It may work for others, but for me, if I don’t decide which way I’m going to go, then I end up not going anywhere. I need to have a direction, to head towards something that I care about. I recognize the epiphanies I’ve had (like, that I need someone), but I still can’t stand to be aimless.
I’m getting a lot of advice about what I should do with my life, but ultimately, I know what works for me, and what they’re telling me is what works for them. Until I see others doing things the way I do…well. That’s not fair. I am considering the advice I’ve been given and staying open to possibilities should they present themselves.
In the meantime, I’m going to head towards what I set out to do, which is work in the international field, live in Seattle proper, and utilize the mass transit system. I’m making some compromises and some changes as I see fit based on what becomes important to me. But I’m still going to be me. So, yeah.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Reconstruction
Ok, so like, I think I’d like to continue blogging again. Since Season 2 was not due to finish until end of November, I’d say we’re still in that time frame. So this will be the rest of Season 2.
As for Season 1 and the bulk of 2, well, I think I just need to leave a lot of that behind. But I plan to recover the significant posts from those seasons and make a separate highlights blog. And I will make another archives page listing the seasons of the Killdeer Chronicles.
But I think first, I need to reconstruct my profile. So, yeah.
As for Season 1 and the bulk of 2, well, I think I just need to leave a lot of that behind. But I plan to recover the significant posts from those seasons and make a separate highlights blog. And I will make another archives page listing the seasons of the Killdeer Chronicles.
But I think first, I need to reconstruct my profile. So, yeah.
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