Ok, I compiled notable posts from Seasons 1 and 2 and put them on a separate blog called The Lost Posts. Click on the link below or look under "Season Archives" in the right hand column.
http://killdeerlostposts.blogspot.com
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Regret revisited and looking to the future
If you read…hmm…what was it? Season 1 or 2? Anyway, I wrote a short post showing an article called The Psychology of Regret.
Basically, it said…well two things, really. First it said that how you look back on your decisions changes from the immediate past to the more distant past. The second thing it said is that there are two types of people; the kind that regret the things they did and the kind that regret what they didn’t do.
Well, looking at this now, I’m not sure any of this matters because it doesn’t take into account (what was then) the present. Whether you regret what you did or didn’t do, you made the best decision at the time based on the information you had and what was important to you at the time. What becomes important to you later is pretty much irrelevant for a past decision. So there’s really no point regretting anything…what you did or didn’t do.
That’s basically the way I’d thought for a long time. And I still feel that way. When I look back on my experience living overseas, yeah, I missed out on some opportunities, but I also know I did what was important to me at the time. It was important to me to do what I wanted and to follow through with the plans I’d made.
If these things are not important to me anymore, then I’ll make my changes now.
Of course, here’s the thing. It’s one thing to change the course of your life, but quite another to change who you are.
Recently, in response to regret, I tried to change who I was. I even tried to… *gasp* …stop thinking. Well that was just dumb. And it’s expecting quite a bit from myself. But I think something that can be learned from that article on regret is to consider the trends of your decisions and consider whether you want to continue down the path you're on…or to change directions…while still in the context of being who you are. It’s a tricky balance.
Another tricky balance, making the right decisions for the right reasons. Well…it seems when you’re faced with a decision and you don’t feel you have the information to decide which is best, you can always go with your gut feeling. It’s trying to tell you something that you already know or believe, even if you can’t see it at the moment. And there’s a difference between feeling nervous about a decision vs. a feeling that something just isn’t right. Later down the line, you’ll understand more what that gut feeling was trying to tell you.
Making a decision (a choice) between an individual or an institution. That’s a difficult one. I find I’ve been happier when I chose the individual.
Anyway…ok I’m going on tangents. But that’s, um, what I do. So, like, ok…this “going with the flow” thing. I’ve been trying to not care so much what happens next and just do whatever…but um, I just can’t. Things don’t just come up for me. It may work for others, but for me, if I don’t decide which way I’m going to go, then I end up not going anywhere. I need to have a direction, to head towards something that I care about. I recognize the epiphanies I’ve had (like, that I need someone), but I still can’t stand to be aimless.
I’m getting a lot of advice about what I should do with my life, but ultimately, I know what works for me, and what they’re telling me is what works for them. Until I see others doing things the way I do…well. That’s not fair. I am considering the advice I’ve been given and staying open to possibilities should they present themselves.
In the meantime, I’m going to head towards what I set out to do, which is work in the international field, live in Seattle proper, and utilize the mass transit system. I’m making some compromises and some changes as I see fit based on what becomes important to me. But I’m still going to be me. So, yeah.
Basically, it said…well two things, really. First it said that how you look back on your decisions changes from the immediate past to the more distant past. The second thing it said is that there are two types of people; the kind that regret the things they did and the kind that regret what they didn’t do.
Well, looking at this now, I’m not sure any of this matters because it doesn’t take into account (what was then) the present. Whether you regret what you did or didn’t do, you made the best decision at the time based on the information you had and what was important to you at the time. What becomes important to you later is pretty much irrelevant for a past decision. So there’s really no point regretting anything…what you did or didn’t do.
That’s basically the way I’d thought for a long time. And I still feel that way. When I look back on my experience living overseas, yeah, I missed out on some opportunities, but I also know I did what was important to me at the time. It was important to me to do what I wanted and to follow through with the plans I’d made.
If these things are not important to me anymore, then I’ll make my changes now.
Of course, here’s the thing. It’s one thing to change the course of your life, but quite another to change who you are.
Recently, in response to regret, I tried to change who I was. I even tried to… *gasp* …stop thinking. Well that was just dumb. And it’s expecting quite a bit from myself. But I think something that can be learned from that article on regret is to consider the trends of your decisions and consider whether you want to continue down the path you're on…or to change directions…while still in the context of being who you are. It’s a tricky balance.
Another tricky balance, making the right decisions for the right reasons. Well…it seems when you’re faced with a decision and you don’t feel you have the information to decide which is best, you can always go with your gut feeling. It’s trying to tell you something that you already know or believe, even if you can’t see it at the moment. And there’s a difference between feeling nervous about a decision vs. a feeling that something just isn’t right. Later down the line, you’ll understand more what that gut feeling was trying to tell you.
Making a decision (a choice) between an individual or an institution. That’s a difficult one. I find I’ve been happier when I chose the individual.
Anyway…ok I’m going on tangents. But that’s, um, what I do. So, like, ok…this “going with the flow” thing. I’ve been trying to not care so much what happens next and just do whatever…but um, I just can’t. Things don’t just come up for me. It may work for others, but for me, if I don’t decide which way I’m going to go, then I end up not going anywhere. I need to have a direction, to head towards something that I care about. I recognize the epiphanies I’ve had (like, that I need someone), but I still can’t stand to be aimless.
I’m getting a lot of advice about what I should do with my life, but ultimately, I know what works for me, and what they’re telling me is what works for them. Until I see others doing things the way I do…well. That’s not fair. I am considering the advice I’ve been given and staying open to possibilities should they present themselves.
In the meantime, I’m going to head towards what I set out to do, which is work in the international field, live in Seattle proper, and utilize the mass transit system. I’m making some compromises and some changes as I see fit based on what becomes important to me. But I’m still going to be me. So, yeah.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Reconstruction
Ok, so like, I think I’d like to continue blogging again. Since Season 2 was not due to finish until end of November, I’d say we’re still in that time frame. So this will be the rest of Season 2.
As for Season 1 and the bulk of 2, well, I think I just need to leave a lot of that behind. But I plan to recover the significant posts from those seasons and make a separate highlights blog. And I will make another archives page listing the seasons of the Killdeer Chronicles.
But I think first, I need to reconstruct my profile. So, yeah.
As for Season 1 and the bulk of 2, well, I think I just need to leave a lot of that behind. But I plan to recover the significant posts from those seasons and make a separate highlights blog. And I will make another archives page listing the seasons of the Killdeer Chronicles.
But I think first, I need to reconstruct my profile. So, yeah.
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